Thick And Thin

Here's some good news for those of us with a slightly larger than average waistline. Apparently, according to the Sun, thinking makes you fat.

More accurately, it's been found that students who are taken to a buffet after a serious mental workout consume far more calories than those who've spent the same time bumming around. Fascinating, though I'm a little surprised that the researches managed to find some students who were both able and willing to exercise their brains.

Still, taken to its logical conclusion, these findings seem to confirm the popular view that skinny, clothes horse type models and wannabes are, in fact, unlikely to have done any significant thinking recently. Equally, the more portly members of society should now gain richly deserved recognition as both physical and intellectual giants.

There are flaws in the theory, of course, but I like the correlation between increasing obesity in brats and ever-improving exam performance - even the most rabidly politically correct government minister probably wouldn't have dared to dream that one up! Now, if only they could explain why, over 50 years ago, sprogs sat - and passed - much harder exams than those with which we fail to exercise our childrens' brains today, and they still weren't fat.

Bit of a poser, that. Bit of a bloody mind bender. The obvious conclusion - that today's brats are lazy, gluttonous and stupid - simply won't do. It's one of those things that just about everybody knows without having to do expensive research, and is therefore inadmissible on the basis that it would put jobbing thinkers out of work. Or so they claim, while stuffing yet another doughnut into their face.

Billy Seggars.