Lock Up Your Budgies

Today's award for the weirdest headline has to go to The Sun, with the enigmatic, "Kissing Budgies Could Be Fatal." Really? Goodness, I'll try to remember that next time I get an irresistible urge to snog a (feathered) bird.

Do people really do that? I suppose they must, if the Sun sees fit to warn about the hideous agues the little buggers carry, though I can honestly say it's not something I've ever either done myself or seen done by anyone else. Or even heard of anyone doing, come to think of it.

The article goes on to warn about the risks of infection from reptiles and snakes, cats and dogs, but it's the budgies that I can't get to grips with. It adds a whole new meaning to "bird fancier", and my imagination is suddenly filled with visions of sinister individuals creeping up to bird cages in the hope of stealing a quick peck on the beak.

Do they say things like "Coorrr, look at the wings on that one," or, more worryingly, "Who's a pretty boy then!" Do they have glossy magazines, only available from the top shelves of back street pet shops? You know, the kind with blacked out windows, where you might encounter novel interpretations of requests for hedgehog feed and "feathering your nest" could mean just about anything!

Clearly, this is another world, which, hitherto, I had not even suspected might, or could exist, and I must thank the Sun for alerting me to the possibilities and dangers therein. Remember - lock up your budgies!

Billy Seggars.