Heads Up

The discovery of a plastic bag contain a woman's severed head has caused something of a flap in Arbroath, Angus, according to the Sun. Clearly evidence of some hot-headed crime, the gruesome find was made by a children playing on the beach. They told their mother, who informed the police.

Tayside Police conducted a search of the beach, and found also found a severed hand - presumably belonging to the owner of the detached head. It is, apparently, assumed that the remains were washed ashore after a bungled attempt to conceal a murder by chopping up the body, wrapping it in plastic bags and dropping it into the sea.

Terrible though murder may be, I fear that Tayside Police may be overlooking an even greater crime. After all, as the Daily Mail and other born again tree huggers have been telling us for weeks, plastic bags are Bad News. Anyone recklessly dumping them into the sea, particularly with content that may attract marine life in search of food, must surely be guilty of a crime that stands head and shoulders above one piddling murder.

I have no doubt the environmentalist lobby will have something to say about it, and woe betide the head-bagging murderer if a Friends of the Polar Bears representative should find him before the police do.

Billy Seggars.