Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Chloe Marshall - Miss Surrey

I've been keeping half an eye on Chloe Marshall's bid to become Miss England for a little while. Ordinarily, I have no time for beauty contests - they're nothing more than opportunities for vanity-obsessed wannabe clothes horses to totter around making trite, well-rehearsed comments. As for the beauty aspect of things - it's a beauty contest, remember - it seems to be sadly lacking in the vast majority of contestants.

Not so with Chloe Marshall. At 12st 8lbs, this size 16 young lady puts her more skeletal competitors to shame. She is a stunningly beautiful, and, more importantly, all natural babe who, unless I miss my guess, is destined for great things whether or not she becomes Miss England. According to the Daily Mail, she's already seen off some much skinnier competition to become Miss Surrey, and I, for one, am delighted to hear it.

Why? Because, like most guys, I loathe and detest trendily thin women. Trust me, ladies, you're doing yourselves no favours by constant dieting - all you're doing is putting the blokes off. We do not want to look at bags of skin and bone, and we absolutely don't want to wake up next to a badly concealed skeleton. Real people eat, and look as though they do. Guys like to hang out with real people, who, as a rule, will not look like an escapee from a museum's display of miscellaneous bones.

We look for intelligence in a woman, too. They don't have to be a genius, but it helps if they're smart enough to work out how dumb their eternally slimming buddies really are. Chloe Marshall seems to got these points all figured out - she IS beautiful, and is clearly a very real person. In short, she looks like someone you might meet in the street and, if you did, you just know you could have a real conversation with her without having to dumb it down to the subterranean level of her stick-thin, drink-of-water-dressed-up competitors.

Unlike them, she has curves in all the right places, is clearly intelligent enough to know that they are attractive and is confident enough to make use of her very obvious charms. That, rather than the artificial, follow-the-crowd, must-be-thin stupidity of other contestants, is true beauty, and this girl deserves to be Miss England.

Billy Seggars.

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