Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Strange Search

People search the Internet for the strangest things. For example, a quick glance at the logs for this site shows that a recent visitor has been busily searching Google for this fascinating term: what can i use instead of a vibrator.

Of course, the web is a wonderful thing, and contains information on just about any topic you care to image. And that's great. But do people REALLY need to resort to the Internet for answers to that question? What did folks do before the Information Age made it possible for Google to enumerate vibrator substitutes? Wouldn't a few minutes spent exercising their imagination produce a more satisfying result?

I would have thought so, and, now that the question has been posed, I can think of any number of possibilities, but I'm not going to tell you what they are - that's what YOUR imagination is for! Then again, maybe they tried and just couldn't put their finger on it.

Naturally, morbid curiosity got the better of me, and I bunged the offending term into Google. Can you believe that the big G returns 958,000 results in answer to that question? One of which suggests that an electric toothbrush might serve as a surrogate vibrator - gives a whole new meaning to getting the brush off!

Just when I think the human race has reached its nadir, that, no matter how people try, they couldn't get any more dense, I find something like this to reveal new, previously unexplored depths of mindlessness. When I was a lad, long before I met Mrs S, before Google even existed, the females of my acquaintance had no difficulty in exercising their imaginations - and everything else, too. That their descendants should prove to be so utterly dull as to need Google to identify vibrator alternatives is depressing in the extreme.

Billy Seggars.

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