Breaking Brown's Golden Rules

It's always nice to have your suspicions confirmed, even in a statement of opinion rather than fact. I have long suspected that the current British Government was ever so slightly round the bend, and this cracking summary of our present and future economic difficulties in the Telegraph sums things up in words that I believe I may have used myself: "Confirmed: the lunatics are running the asylum."

And, sadly, it seems to be absolutely true. Read the Telegraph article if you've somehow managed to miss all the signs of impending recession (as predicted by yours truly several months ago, I might add!) because I really can't be bother to list them in detail. In summary, for the hard of clicking, it's: falling house prices + rising unemployment + lower spending cos no bugger's got any spare cash = major shortfall in public finds, to the tune of £24 billion and rising, meaning that the Government is going to have to borrow billions and billions of pounds to tide it over - if it can.

In order to do so, it's going to have to get rid of the Golden Rule(s) set up by none other than Gordon Brown-Trousers in 1997, when he first became Chancellor and wanted to look as though he really know how to be prudent with our cash. And, indeed, rewriting of those rules is already under consideration. Interesting approach, isn't it - when the rules are inconvenient, change em.

Of course, this is all going to end in tears, both for the Government and the public as a whole. Under other circumstances, I'd be massively amused to watch Gordon Brown-Trousers' humiliating downfall on the very subject - the economy - that he's always used as his unique selling point. But so grave are the implications for many of my fellow citizens that I find my usual glee somewhat curtailed.

The alarm bells have been ringing for quite a while, but it takes a kick in the wallets for most people to notice that something is wrong, and by then it's far, far too late to do anything about it. People everywhere are frantically trying to save money, cut expenses, batten down the hatches and hang on - you know things are rough when just about every newspaper is running "How to economise" type articles - but what are they hanging on for?

If they're waiting for this Government to fix things, they'll be waiting a long time. The problems began long before Gordon Brown-Trousers left the Treasury, and since he's still pulling the strings from Number 10, it seems unlikely that he'll be able - or willing - to fix it now. A new Government seems like a good bet, but that doesn't HAVE to happen until 2010, and I for one can't see Gord and his buddies giving up their cushy little posts until they absolutely have to - it would mean having to get a real job, and most of them wouldn't know where to start! In the meantime, they'll be tinkering with the economy, borrowing yet more money and generally digging us all into an even bigger hole.

And when Crazy Cameron is eventually elected, as he almost certainly will be, what then? Even assuming that he can, and does, put together a competent government that is capable of cleaning up all of NuLab's mess, how long is it going to take?

Years, at the very least. They will have to pay back all the money that this Government so unwisely borrows to keep its ass afloat. They will need to rebuild the economy to get people into work to collect taxes from them to pay for Gordon's debts. They will need to stimulate the housing market and encourage international trade. This does not happen over night, even when there are no other problems to contend with, and, let's face it, Crazy Cameron is going to have a LOT of other things to fix besides the economy.

Broadly, as far as I can make out, the British economy - and, therefore, the British people - are in for a very unpleasant five years or so, at the very least. And, despite my sympathy, and my disgust at what Tony Blair, Gordon Brown-Trousers and the Labour Party in general have done to a thriving country, I can't help thinking that all of those smirking, touchy-feely, new-age, do-gooding nitwits who fell for the grin and voted Tone into power in 1997 have - FINALLY - got what they were so eagerly asking for.

Unfortunately, so have the rest of us. Thanks a lot, guys.

Billy Seggars.