Mottoly Fool

Does Britain need a national motto? I wouldn't have thought so. It seems like a tacky, tasteless thing to introduce, but our oh-so-patriotic Prime Minister from north of the border thinks otherwise.

Apparently, it should be a "statement of values" summing up what it means to be a British citizen, and will be "proudly" displayed on every public building and maybe on British passports, too.

Like all of Gordon Brown's rhetoric, it seems like a load of bull to me, and the fact that Crazy Cameron backs the notion just about writes it off as a waste of time, space, effort and money.

According to the Daily Mail, "Insiders said the motto will be chosen by a "citizens' summit" of 1,000 people for it to be "truly representative" of Britishness rather than be imposed by ministers or dreamt up by a team of highly-paid consultants."

Representative of Britishness, eh? Just like our elected government is representative of the wishes of the electorate? Given that Mr Blair came to power on the strength of a couple of landslide election victories, only to be ousted by Brown, it seems reasonable to assume that this government's actions in office might be representative of the British way of life. So let's see what slogans their (presumably overwhelmingly popular) policies might give us:

New licencing laws lead to binge drinking:
Mine's a pint
Make it a double
I'm not so think as you drunk I am

Iraq:
Don't mention the war!
Weapons of misdirection
Follow my leader

Casinos and gambling laws:
You bet!

The economy and finance:
Between a Rock and a hard place

Surveillance culture:
We know where you live
Smile! You're on candid camera

I'm sure there are many, many more that sum up life in Britain under Blair and Brown, so I might update that list from time to time.

Billy Seggars.