Sunday, 3 February 2008

Short Marketing Puffs

I see the anti-smoking brigade are "furious", according to today's Daily Mail. Gosh, that's a shame! The meddlesome, arrogant, interfering, do-gooding busybodies should be made incoherent with tooth-grinding fury 24/7, in my opinion. In fact, "enrage a smug anti-smoker" would make an entertaining Olympic sport - it's more interesting than, for example, Curling, and less wasteful on yard brushes! Though, come to think about it, "conceal a brush about an anti-smoker's person" might make an even more amusing game.

Entertaining though it is to infuriate anti-smokers - particularly those who adopt that irritating "it's for your own good" attitude - I really can't quite figure out what's got up their snouts on this occasion. It seems that tobacco firm Philip Morris has devised a "mini-cigarette", perfect for those unfortunate smokers who have been forced to sneak outside like a leper when they fancy a smoke at work and elsewhere. And this, apparently, is what's bugging the anti-smoking campaigners.

Why? I have no idea. Nobody is making them smoke the damned things, so why it should disturb them that things are being made a little more convenient for adults who wish to smoke I have no idea. Then again, freedom of choice is not something that they understand, and so anything that allows smokers to do as they choose - you know, exercising their freedom of thought and deed, as is their right - must be frowned upon, mustn't it?

Actually, I can't see the new mini-cigg taking off all that well in any event. It's a good thought, and has caused the anti-smoking health fascists some well-deserved distress, but smokers are, by nature, quite attached to their chosen brands. They don't really like switching, even for convenience. How often have you seen one smoker offer a cigarette to another, only have them respond, "No, thanks, I'll have one of mine..." for example? Often, I'll bet.

Besides, most smokers who knock off work for a tea and cigg break have managed to make their smoke last just long enough to go with their brew. A shorter cigg will not do, and they'll just end up smoking twice as many. Hmmm, crafty marketing on behalf of Philip Morris, I wonder?

Not that it will matter too much, if certain rumours are true. I have heard mutterings that the smoking ban - particularly as it applies to pubs - could be up for review, having turned out to be massively unpopular with Labour's core voters, the working class. No idea whether it's true, but it ought to be!

Billy Seggars.

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