Life In The Sun

As I've said before, I like the Sun. There's something refreshing about a newspaper that, even in the gloomy times that have overtaken Britain of late, can run such an eclectic mix of stories.

Today, for example, the Sun's BIG headline is that the husband of Special Constable Nisha Patel-Nasri has been convicted of her murder. Apparently, he had his pretty young wife killed by a couple of very odd-looking guys whilst he went off to play snooker. Charming.

But, right alongside this grim article is a photo purporting to be proof that ghosts exist. It is claimed to show a spectral figure hanging on to the banister of a staircase at Tulloch Castle in Dingwall in the Scottish Highlands, which is supposed to be well known for its supernatural residents. Fascinating, to be sure, but I can't help wondering if all is as it appears.

And then, right beneath this, we have the massively urgent breaking news that Prince William is "top royal totty", with Harry not far behind. Can they do that? Are you allowed to refer to future heads of state and their brothers as "royal totty"? I guess so, though how folks are going to cope with bowing and scraping to someone answering that description I'll never know.

This being the Sun, boobs are never far from the headlines, and today's offering is no exception. But this is a serious article, honest, and isn't written for the purpose of displaying a pair of slightly concealed knockers at all, I'm sure. It seems that sports scientist (whatever that may be) Dr Joanna Scurr at the University of Portsmouth, has figured out that "The speed at which breasts move during exercise could be key to understanding breast pain."

No, really? Oh yes! Really! And, having studied more than 100 women running on a treadmill with sensors attached to their bosoms, she should know what she's talking about. I wonder if she needs an assistant? Someone to fix up the sensors, maybe?

Fascinating though high speed hooters may be, they pale into insignificance compared to the story right next to it: "UFO Explodes Over Island." Now that should have been a show stopper all over the world. Sadly, I don't see any mention of this vital development in any of the other papers. Nor has it made the BBC or CNN.

Still, the Sun, ever at the forefront of news gathering, the paper that only yesterday showed how to make Martian landscape pictures for rather less than the cost of Nasa's latest probe, says, "A UFO has EXPLODED in mid-air over a southern Vietnamese island, according to reports."

Dramatic stuff. The story continues, "Villagers say they heard a loud blast yesterday and later found shards of metal near the island's coastline. The sensational revelations come one day after neighbouring Cambodia's air force retracted a report of a mysterious plane crash. "

Retracted, eh? That's suspicious, for a start! And then, "The official state news agency added that soldiers were sent out to look for the wreckage and survivors, and local authorities contacted airlines in Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand, but received no reports of missing aircraft. " No reports? I wonder if that could be because the prior reports had been retracted?

We'll never know, of course, unless the alien's friends come looking for them. But, curiosity having gotten the better of me, I've been doing a little Googling on this story. There's not much information around, but what there currently is can be had at the following links:

Plane crashes in southeast Cambodia - official
Cambodian official backs off plane crash report
Unidentified flying object explodes over southern Vietnam - probably the most detailed article around at the moment, though I have no idea how reliable it is
UFO explodes over Phu Quoc Island
Unidentified object reported exploding off Cambodia coast
Vietnam reports "UFO" explosion - contains a few pictures of a guy holding an interestingly twisted piece of metal.
Vietnam probes mystery UFO incident

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Fascinating, though not particularly enlightening. Of course, UFO refers to an Object that's Flying and is Unidentified - doesn't necessarily imply alien spacecraft. And given all the unfortunate events in that part of the world recently, I should imagine the whole are is alive with military, civilian and media aircraft.

Wouldn't surprise me if one of them had stopped reporting the news and starting BEING the news.

Billy Seggars.