BNP Egg Humiliation

There's been very little to laugh about in the news recently, but the sight of BNP leader, Nick Griffin, receiving a richly deserved egging has got to be the highlight of the week.

I understand the frustrations that lead people (albeit fairly thick and / or unpleasant people) to vote for the BNP, particularly when, in times of real economic hardship, we are finally presented with inescapable proof that our elected representatives are little more than self-serving scroungers. They wreck the economy, borrow cash by the truckload, admit that taxes will need to go through the roof to pay it off, and then are caught out fiddling their own expenses.

OUR money lining THEIR pockets, while we get to do a real job to pay for it. Infuriating, even to those of us who have long suspected that the entire system was bent. But the BNP is not the answer. No matter how they dress up their poison in superficially reasonable arguments, it's still the same old poison.

You only have to check out the picture gallery and video in this Daily Mirror article (or in just about every other news source) to see the truth behind the BNP. Mr Griffin's pompous swagger as he begins to address the gathered ladies and gentlemen of the press, his initially superscillious sneers and then increasingly nervous squints at the egg-lobbing protesters and his massively undignified high-speed waddle to safety amid a bunch of sinister-looking minder types say it all.

The BNP may have acquired more hair than the average skinhead, and learned to wear a suit (possibly only after intensive training!) for the cameras, but underneath it all lurks the classic fascist - brave and uncompromising when they feel secure, but a scampering, quivering coward when faced with even a little opposition.

For all its apparent success, the BNP remains a protest vote. Very, very few people would really want to see this disgusting group holding any significant power within the UK. BUT, if the leaders of the main parties don't start looking very, very carefully at the issues the BNP has hijacked in order to appear respectable, it might happen almost by accident.

Needless to say, that would be a bad day for everyone in the UK, and one I hope never to see. There's even a fairly vociferous argument in favour of banning the BNP altogether, but I don't think that's viable. No, the best way to see off this vicious apology for a democratic political party is for the other parties to offer a better alternative that really appeals to the ordinary man and woman in the street.

We care about things like post office closures, British jobs for British workers and the undue influence of the EU in our affairs. We want politicians to get their snouts out of the trough and start doing what they're paid for. Not much chance of that with Gordon Brown Trousers clinging on to power, but maybe, just maybe, Crazy Cameron can get his head around the idea - before we end up with Nick Griffin's mob running the country.

Billy Seggars.

The Naked Gnome Caper

What is it about garden gnomes that so gets on the nerves of a certain, small-minded kind of person? I'm starting to think that, in not particularly liking or disliking the things beyond considering them to be a non-functional waste of space, I'm in a minority of one.

Last November, with a delicious irony that I couldn't resist mocking, the Diocese of Bath and Wells banned gnomes and similar "unnatural creatures" from its churchyards, while retaining the usual plethora of equally unnatural angels etc.

Today it's the turn of Bromsgrove District Council, in the West Midlands. According to the Telegraph, this bustling, go-getting local authority has so effectively solved all its local service difficulties as to have enough time on its hands to address the horrifying social impact of ... naked garden gnomes.

It seems that Sandra Smith, of Hunnington, has, for the past 15 years, kept three unclothed garden gnomes in her front garden. In all that time, they haven't bothered anyone, and have, allegedly been nothing more than a bit of fun that have raised a chuckle amongst children and adults alike. That may well be so, although I am saddened that anyone should be so devoid of entertainment as to find garden gnomes amusing, with, or without clothing.

Now, however, a neighbour has complained that the starkers statuary is upsetting her brats. The neighbour - who remains anonymous in the Telegraph article, I suspect out of realisation that she's going to sound like a complete and utter clown - says of the offending gnomes, "They are childish and I think it's pathetic that they are in a front garden in full view of everyone."

Childish and pathetic? Yes, quite possibly, they are. But so, in my opinion, is anyone who would complain about them, and then talk to the media about it. Consider - the basis of the complaint appears to be that the gnomes are upsetting this woman's CILDren. Yet she complains that they are CHILDish. Surely, they can't be both childish and unsuitable for children?

With that sort of reasoning power at her disposal, it's no great surprise that the youngsters in her care are haven't learned not to be "upset" by the gnomes - if that's all it takes to rattle their cage, they're going to be in for one hell of a shock when they get into the real world.

Besides, how can a garden gnome be "naked"? It's a made thing, not a person. You might as well complain about naked lawnmowers or pianos. Oh, that's right, the Victorians did, didn't they - covered up furniture legs, lest they encourage impure thoughts, while being a bunch of randy buggers on the quiet.

The world is getting more crazy by the day, and it's not just these two strange neighbours who have a thing about gnomes. Surfers show up on this blog looking for all kinds of garden gnome related oddness. Full sized garden gnomes are a favourite. Garden gnome statistics and gnome facts and figures are popular, too. I don't understand the attraction, and I probably never will.

Billy Seggars.

Mervyn King - Unlikely Hero

Goodness me! It's been almost two months since I updated this blog, and I never even noticed! That's probably because there never seems to be anything genuinely new or unusual in the news these days.

I don't think many people can have missed the rapid descent of 21st century Britain into New Labour lunacy, and so my commentary seems a little redundant. Besides, what is there to say? Each day, Gordon Brown-Trousers or his chosen minion announces a new scheme designed to mask the government's utter incompetence until after the next election. Each day, the public groans, shakes head and struggles on through the economic chaos created by that same power-mad group.

We know the schemes won't work, can't work and could only be imagined to be useful by someone totally out of touch (Hi Gord!). We also know that we, the taxpayers, are going to be lumbered with paying for this mess for decades, no matter whether Ken Clarke piddles around with inheritance tax or not.

But today is slightly different. With our derranged PM overseas on yet another jaunt aimed at pestering simillarly clueless world leaders into joinining him in a further fiscal stimulus farce, Mervyn King has risen like a rake from the long grass to smack Gordon Brown-Trousers in the face (ughhh). Speaking to the Treasury Select Committee, the normally reserved Mr King made it very, very clear, in language even the Prime Minister can understand, that Britain simply cannot afford yet another round of borrowing to finacne tax cuts and public spending - aka fiscal stimulus.

And quite right too! It's excessive borrowing that's gotten most people - including this joke of a government - into this mess, and the way out does not lie though more of the same. Only a fool would think otherwise, which is probably why, in a speech to the European Parliament, Gordon Brown-Trousers said, "We can together deliver the biggest financial stimulus the world has ever seen, the biggest cut in interest rates, the biggest reform of the international financial system, the first international principles governing banking remuneration, the first comprehensive action against tax havens and for the first time in a world crisis, new help for the poor."

Madness! Sheer, raving financial lunacy! And it doesn't stop there. He also said that the world should abandon the "old Washington consensus" of lightly-regulated free markets and introduce a new European form of capitalism reflecting morality and values. Morality and values? This from the man whose senior ministers (and quite a few juniors, too) are constantly accused of bening on the take, fiddling expenses, claiming for second houses that belong to sisters, parents etc? And who recently recalled and enobled a man who was forced to resign from Tony Blair's cabinet, not once but twice, following allegations of financial dodgy dealings, and who is still facing similar questions now he's back?

As for the European Parliament, it's hardly known for moral values, let alone its ability to effectively regulate anything. On the contrary, it's famous for being a cash sink, where faceless officials obtain lots of money for doing very little - and nothing that anyone would actually want them to do!

No, Mr Kinng couldn't have timed his warning better, both in terms of the looming Budget and as a means of humiliating Gordon Brown-Trousers. How could I possibly resist cheering this valiant little banker on? Go for it Merv, show everyone what a clueless imbecile the PM is - but, if I were you, I'd avoid going near any woodland for a while. Remember what happened to David Kelly when he made the previous PM look stupid!

Billy Seggars.

Gordon Brown "One-eyed Scottish idiot"

Jeremy Clarkson is definitely going up in my estimation. He's funny, doesn't mince his words and is almost certainly in deep shit yet again, worse luck.

What's he done this time? Only referred to Gordon Brown-Trousers as a "One-eyed Scottish idiot" according to the Telegraph. Me, I can't see anything wrong with that - sounds like a perfectly accurate description of our unelected, power-mad, utterly incompetent Prime Minister, who spent 10 years as Chancellor but didn't see a recession coming, thinks he's saved the world and believes the world is in a depression.

Speaking of our Great Leader at a press conference in Australia, and comparing him to the Aussie PM, Clarkson apparently said, "(In the UK) we've got this one-eyed Scottish idiot, he keeps telling us everything's fine and he's saved the world and we know he's lying, but he's smooth at telling us."

I doubt there is anyone who would fail to recognise our dumb (British jobs for Britis workers! And Italian workers, and ...), cowardly (Can't call an election in case I get a reduced majority!) Prime Minister from that description, but the New Labour spin machine is, of course, in well orchestrated uproar. Gordon Banks, Labour MP for Ochil and South Perthshire, branded the comments "unforgivable", but then he would, and his promotion is probably already in the pipeline.

What Clarkson's bosses at New Labour's propaganda HQ, formerly known as the BBC, have to say is probably unrepeatable, but you can bet they're not pleased. Trouble is, Clarkson's popular, and he's captured the public's opinion of Gordon Brown-Trousers perfectly. If he's sacked or disciplined, it will just go to prove that the BBC is now in New Labour's pocket, so I expect he'll be allowed to stay for a while yet.

Unlike the unforgivable, disgraceful behaviour of Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross, this is not a prank gone wrong but an expression of a widely held and pretty accurate opinion of the British Prime Minister. We're ashamed of him, despair of him and can't wait to get rid of him - how is that contrary to the view expressed by Clarkson?

It isn't. In fact, so common is Clarkson's view that he might yet find himself Prime Minister. I'd vote for him any day!

Billy Seggars.

Mandelson Calls British Jobs Protests Xenophobic

The Telegraph reports that "Wildcat strikes across Britain are threatening to escalate after Lord Mandelson dismissed workers' concerns and claimed the protests may be "xenophobic"."

How dare that cheeky, arrogant, good for nothing, doubly-disgraced wast of time dismiss legitimate concerns, and the free discussion thereof? What does the slithering bugger know of an honest day's work? Compare the image of him standing, pristine and pompous in the House of Lords, with that of those he denounces, huddled in the snow, pressing home their point.

Who would you trust to tell the truth? A twice-resigned minister who still needs to explain away his presence in a suspiciously expensive London pad, or a bunch of skilled workers standing out in the cold? Would YOU stand out in the cold if you had paid work to go to, especially in this economic climate?

No, and neither would anyone else. The fact is that things are getting a little uncomfortable for the government, and composures are starting to crack. First it was Brown-Trousers, shitting himself as he blustered that these very legitimate protests are indefensible. Then it was Mandelson, wheeled out to pour snake oil on troubled waters, with assurances that everything was hunky dory. Now it's becoming clear that nobody believes him, and he's getting a little bit ratty.

In the Lords he said, "Membership of the European Union, and taking advantage of the opportunities for trade presented by the EU, are firmly in the UK's national interest. Free movement of labour and the ability to work across the EU has been a condition of membership for decades."

Mistake. People are increasingly of the view that membership of the European Union isn't worth spit to the UK. It imposes upon us a lot of bloody stupid rules and regulations, costs us a lot of money and means that European workers can compete with British workers for British jobs, at a time when there aren't enough to go round. Or, as Mandy seems to be saying, in order to subject ourselves to the expense and inconvenience of being an EU member, we must first allow EU workers to take our jobs!

Further, when people have the temerity to point this out and - shock, horror! - to object to it, he brands them xenophobes. BIG mistake. The British people are not, on the whole, xenophobic. Yes, there are some racist dimwits out there, but racism and xenophobia are not the same thing, or even close to being the same thing. Xenophoboa means, very broadly, fear of strangers or foreigners, and, for the avoidance of Many's cringing, lilly livered doubt, John Bull is not afraid of anyone.

We are, however, annoyed. Very, very annoyed that British jobs are going to foreign workers while British workers look on without a job to go to. Mandelson has done very nicely for himself out of Europe, having made a killing there after his second humiliating departure from the British government. His friend and former boss has barely disguised ambitions in that are, and his current boss thinks he's some kind of superhero - superzero more like! So it's not surprising that our alleged leadership want to keep their collective snouts very firmly in the EU trough, and bugger the consequences for Britain and the British people.

It won't do. The British government, and members thereof, are supposed to stand up for the interests of British people - they are our elected representatives! They are not suppoosed to make vaguely sympathetic sounds about "understanding concerns" and then tell us to get used to the situation, before going on to call us nasty names when we object.

Anyone with any right to represent the British people - and, remember, Lord Sleaze was appointed without winning a democratic election, by a Prime Minister who also wasn't elected and who ran away from his first opportunity to gain his own mandate - does not persistently describe legitimate concerns as "unofficial", hinting that they're in some way illegitimate. That's the talk of a collaborator, a traitor to the Btitish people whose loyalty to the European cause supercedes everything else.

Mandelson has made his position crystal clear, and now there is no way for him to retain even the pretence of legitimacy. He must resign, now, and take his bloody awful boss with him.

Billy Seggars.